I'm not sure when it started; my fear of vulnerability, but I can remember it way back to when I was about 6 years old. I recall one Christmas when I was so excited that I could not go to sleep on Christmas Eve. I was awake for hours. Like most kids that age, I woke up really early on Christmas morning. This is where I stop being the typical kid. I laid in bed for hours. I wanted so badly to get out of bed but I was unwilling to show my excitement. Finally, one of my parents came in to "wake me up" and tried to get me excited to get out of bed. I still wouldn't budge. I acted as if Christmas morning was no big deal and that I was quite bored with the whole thing. When I finally did get up, I went out into the living room, saw all my presents under the tree and sat there as if I wasn't the least bit interested. I begrudgingly opened a couple of gifts, giving either no response or very mild appreciation. At one point I got up, went into my room, closed the door and silently danced up and down and quietly screamed with excitement over the gifts I had received. I then went back to the living room and continued the crazy charade.
What I have since figured out, is that showing emotion; any emotion equaled vulnerability to me. Anger=vulnerability, excitement=vulnerability, sadness=vulnerability. No willingness to be vulnerable=outward stoic, inside miserable. I spent most of my life attempting to control myself and not show emotion of any kind. Because I held it in most of the time, my emotions would sometimes unexpectedly erupt. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me and neither could anyone else. I was so sad and unhappy and couldn't figure out why I didn't have the deep, meaningful relationships that I desperately wanted. People didn't relate to me because I was unwilling to show myself or my vulnerability. Everyone thought I had it all together, did things perfectly and never had any problems. People generally liked me (I think!) but it was hard for me to really connect.
Thankfully, through a series of events, I gained the knowledge that I needed to make a huge shift in my life! I have been on a mission for the past 5 years to show my humanity, imperfection and vulnerability. This means showing that I'm ticked off when I am. It means speaking my mind when I think it's important. It means crying in front of people (yuck!) when I need to cry. It means simply showing that I am excited about something.
What freedom this has brought! I am in love with my life today. I am finally making progress towards my goals and dreams and I have so many incredible relationships with people. I am near bursting with gratitude.
Where in your life are you unwilling or unable to show your humanity, imperfection or vulnerability? What is it costing you?
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Hire Me
Here are the options when you are ready to work with me:
Group Fearless Living Coaching:
For 3 to 8 participants
Use the book, "Fearless Living" by Rhonda Britten as a guide
Meet for one hour each week for 6 weeks via telephone
$99/participant
Private Coaching:
Minimum commitment of 3 sessions
Schedule can be flexible and generally starts with one, 1-hour session weekly via telephone
I am currently charging on a sliding scale (kind of like pay what you can, only there is a minimum) and this may change at any time
I offer a 20 minute FREE consult where we talk and figure out if we want to work together
MONEY BACK GUARANTEE - If you complete 3 full sessions with me and truly feel that you got nothing out of it, made no progress whatsoever, I will refund you money, no questions asked.
YOU + COACHING = THE LIFE YOU WANT!
No obligation to contact me and chat about options. Do it now before your fear tells you it’s a bad idea or you don’t have time or you can’t afford it.
Group Fearless Living Coaching:
For 3 to 8 participants
Use the book, "Fearless Living" by Rhonda Britten as a guide
Meet for one hour each week for 6 weeks via telephone
$99/participant
Private Coaching:
Minimum commitment of 3 sessions
Schedule can be flexible and generally starts with one, 1-hour session weekly via telephone
I am currently charging on a sliding scale (kind of like pay what you can, only there is a minimum) and this may change at any time
I offer a 20 minute FREE consult where we talk and figure out if we want to work together
MONEY BACK GUARANTEE - If you complete 3 full sessions with me and truly feel that you got nothing out of it, made no progress whatsoever, I will refund you money, no questions asked.
YOU + COACHING = THE LIFE YOU WANT!
No obligation to contact me and chat about options. Do it now before your fear tells you it’s a bad idea or you don’t have time or you can’t afford it.
About Vicki
This site is the culmination of many, many years of me working on showing the world who I really am. Not holding back, not hiding, not filtering, not pretending. Just being me! My journey toward authenticity began with Rhonda Britten and The Fearless Living Institute. I am now a Certified Fearless Living Coach and I get to teach others what I have learned about fear and about why I was so terrified to show the world the real me.
So, this is what you're in for if you hang out here:I am sarcastic and I may offend you. I am sometimes funny. I am compassionate. I dislike whining. I love coffee. I am straight forward. I won’t hold back. I will challenge you. I love to help people see how awesome they are. I dislike arrogance. I love silly, slapstick humor. I'm a dork.
I would be honored to have you spend time here with me while I continue to step out of my comfort zone and show the real me. In the process, I hope to help you find your power and the strength you'll need to really show it. You rock and I want to help you own that!
Let’s have some laughs, hopefully learn something and tell fear to take a hike. You'll see all my weaknesses along with my strengths. I hope you'll share yours also. Are you with me?
Vicki
So, this is what you're in for if you hang out here:I am sarcastic and I may offend you. I am sometimes funny. I am compassionate. I dislike whining. I love coffee. I am straight forward. I won’t hold back. I will challenge you. I love to help people see how awesome they are. I dislike arrogance. I love silly, slapstick humor. I'm a dork.
I would be honored to have you spend time here with me while I continue to step out of my comfort zone and show the real me. In the process, I hope to help you find your power and the strength you'll need to really show it. You rock and I want to help you own that!
Let’s have some laughs, hopefully learn something and tell fear to take a hike. You'll see all my weaknesses along with my strengths. I hope you'll share yours also. Are you with me?
Vicki
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